


Leaving

by orphan_account



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Band Break Up, Band Fic, Bden kinda has anger issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, He yells quite often, M/M, Ryden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-23 20:36:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6129280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a Ryden au // the five times Ryan showed up to rehearsal and the one time he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaving

"Ryan, we've waited an hour. Get up already, you fucking twat." Brendon hissed into the phone, shaking his head angrily at the other members. "Where the hell is he?!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration. Ryan always showed up to practice, even if he was ill, and if he didn't - at least he'd call.

Brendon was worried. Mad, but still worried.

This was the seventh call he'd made to Ryan's number himself, not counting Spencer's tries. Jon was silent, keeping his eyes on the ground.

"Do you know something we don't?" Brendon asked, standing in front of him. Jon shook his head vigorously, still not making eye contact with Brendon. "Are you sure? You _seem_ like you do." Brendon spat, unplugging the amp that Jon was sitting on. No need to waste electricity if they weren't going to rehearse.

"He's come all week! Where is he?" Brendon cried as Spencer stifled a laugh at his choice of words. "Oh, fuck off, you dick." He continued, flipping the bird. His head was pounding with possibilities of to why Ryan wasn't there, including fatal car accidents, a one night stand gone wrong, fuck - he could've been strangled by the barista at Starbucks, for what Brendon knew.

It was _panic_. The feeling was panic.

(and that's not a pun, Brendon made sure to think to himself)

Ryan was also feeling panic, but for completely different reasons in a completely different time. He was almost scared of what Brendon would do. He knew about his anger issues, his problems with keeping calm when something goes horribly wrong. He also knew about their mutual feelings for each other and all the times they'd spent - which, remembering them, almost made Ryan just show up and blame a dead battery and bad traffic - but he couldn't bring himself to do anything.

He picked up his phone, scrolling past all the missed calls and ignored messages, pressing 'call.' It didn't ring once before Brendon picked up.

"Where the fuck are you, man?" He hollered and Ryan winced, biting his lip. "I'm not coming in today." He whispered. Brendon was silent. "Well couldn't you have told us beforehand?" He questioned, assuming there was an emergency and Ryan didn't feel like attempting to play. "No, I mean -" Ryan trailed off and Brendon put the phone on speaker, sitting down in front of the other two. Jon was crying.

"Go on," Spencer said, cracking his knuckles. It was a habit. 

"I'm _leaving_." Ryan continued, choking back a sob. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't fucking cry.

Brendon's face went pale and he cleared his throat. "What do you mean?" He asked, trying to keep his voice strong although he felt weak. 

"I mean, I quit. The band, all of it. I can't fucking do this, B-" Ryan tried, but Brendon cut him off. "What about  _us_?" He demanded, running a hand through his hair. He could feel his hands shaking and his legs felt like they would give out if he stood back up.

"I'm sorry." Ryan said. 

"Me too," Jon whispered, standing up. He turned around and stared at the microphone stand. "I'm leaving too."

"What?" Brendon yelled, his voice cracking. "We're sorry, Brendon, really. Panic just isn't.. going in the direction we want it to. It was fun while it lasted, though." Ryan mumbled, sighing.

"Shut up, Ryan." Jon spat, his voice strong. "We're done, officially. I hope you and Spencer keep going with this band forever. It's going somewhere," He said, directing it towards Brendon.

Spencer was silent.

Without another word, Jon walked out, his bass going along with him. Ryan coughed on the other end of the line. "I know he left already. I'm sorry, guys. We told management the other day but.. we wanted to tell you differently." Ryan said, smiling a little. He was happy.

"Answer my question." Brendon screamed into the phone. "Answer it!"

"We're over." Ryan whispered.

Brendon broke down in sobs. Spencer stood up and went outside, lighting a cigarette. He needed to clear his head.

The line clicked and for a moment, Brendon could still hear Ryan's breath, but then it went dead.


End file.
